


Just Give Me a Reason

by its_me_smol_steve



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky’s Getting Better, But It’s me so are we really surprised, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, and Steve’s Helping, but also a lot of fluff, yes it’s another song fic!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 09:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19422844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_me_smol_steve/pseuds/its_me_smol_steve
Summary: Stucky fic based on the P!nk song “Just Give Me a Reason”. Bucky’s back with Steve and learning to be okay again.





	Just Give Me a Reason

**Author's Note:**

> HELLLOOOOO AND IM SO SORRY YOU GUYS IVE BEEN SO BUSY but I promise I haven’t forgotten y’all!!! I swear I’m still here!!! It’s just taking longer than I’d like 😅 but enjoy!!

_Right from the start_

_You were a thief, you stole my heart_

_And I your willing victim_

Bucky knew he shouldn’t get too close to Steve.

Little did he know, Steve knew the same thing about him.

But that isn’t life, and they weren’t ever able to stay away from each other. Attached at the hip as kids, and once they grew older, they got an apartment together.

_I let you see the parts of me, that weren't all that pretty_

_And with every touch you fixed them_

Some things—most things—were better with them together. They both knew this to be true.

Steve would come home, and it would be different. Bucky knew he never acted this way with his ma, God rest her soul. Because instead of slinking in, hiding the injuries he knew his ma would fuss over, with Bucky, he strode in with a grin. “I sent ‘em packin’, Buck,” he’d say, and Bucky would sigh before getting the first aid kit.

And then later. Much, much later. Bucky knew he was broken. Steve wasn’t so sure.

_Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh_

_Things you never say to me oh oh_

_Tell me that you’ve had enough_

_Of our love, our love_

“Bucky!” Steve called, and Bucky sat up, gasping. “It’s okay, Buck. It was just a dream,” he said reassuringly.

“It’s not,” he gasped out, shaking his head and pulling away from Steve. The blond sat back and hid the little hurt look.

Bucky growled in frustration and tore the covers off, pacing the room. “How?” He demanded. “How can you do this, night after night? I’m interrupting your life, Steve. You can’t be glad to have me back.”

_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough_

_Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again_

“Don’t say that,” Steve whispered, voice threatening to break. “Don’t you dare say that.” He shook his head, “You have no idea what it’s been like for me.”

“I don’t?” Bucky growled. “I have _no idea_ what it’s like?” He whirled around to face Steve. “I have _no_ _idea_ what it’s like to be _tortured_ , to _scream_ your name because it’s the _only thing_ I know anymore, it’s the _only thing_ that matters, that could _possibly_ help, and then you _don’t come_? I have _no idea_?”

“Buck,” Steve whispered, but Bucky shook his head.

“ _No_ , Steve.” He shook his head, “Just get out.”

“Buck-”

“Get _out_!” He turned abruptly to face the window. “Leave me alone.”

Steve paused. “I’m sorry,” he said, low, tired, and shuffled out of the room, door closing behind him.

In the darkness, Bucky closed his eyes and bit his lip, holding back tears.

_It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts_

_We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again_

“I really am sorry,” Steve said the next morning over coffee. “I spoke out of line. I didn’t mean it.”

Bucky nodded, but didn’t look up from his coffee.

“I wanna help,” Steve explained. “I just don’t know how.”

“You think I do?” Bucky let out a tired excuse for a laugh and shook his head. “I’ve got no idea what I’m doin’, pal.” He sighed and shook his head again, then looked up at Steve. “For the record, I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t’ve yelled at you.”

_I'm sorry I don't understand_

_Where all of this is coming from_

_I thought that we were fine (Oh we had everything)_

_Your head is running wild again_

_My dear we still have everythin'_

_And it's all in your mind (Yeah but this is happenin')_

Another sleepless night later that week, Bucky turned to Steve. “I think I should leave.”

Steve froze. “Why?”

“I’m not doin’ good, Steve,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “I don’t know what else to try.”

Steve thought quickly. “There’s a lot we could try.”

“Oh? And what’s that?” Steve didn’t answer, and Bucky nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

_You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh_

_You used to lie so close to me oh oh_

_There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love_

_Oh our love, our love_

“Well hold on,” Steve said. “There are quite a few things.” He shifted on the bed, “I know you said you don’t want any group therapy, but I’m getting the idea you’re not too keen on one-on-one therapy either, right?”

Bucky gave a little shrug. “I don’t trust people. Have a hard enough time as it is trusting you.”

“We’re coming back to that,” Steve promised. “You do trust me, though?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, Steve.”

“Okay,” Steve chuckled. “So what if I come with you?”

“What?”

“I could come with you to therapy.”

“That... could actually work,” Bucky allowed, leaning back against the headboard. “Anything else? Any other ideas?”

“Well,” Steve said, and paused. “I don’t know if this one will work or if it’ll just put you more on edge, but we both used to sleep better if we were together.”

Bucky couldn’t help the laugh. “You tryin’ to get some action, Rogers?” He shook his head, “I might not remember everything, but I know for a fact that your moves haven’t gotten any better.”

“Shuddup,” Steve said, but he was laughing. “C’mon, I’m being serious. Whaddya think?”

“We can try it,” Bucky decided. “Just...” He shook his head, “I don’t want to hurt you, Steve. You have to promise, if I wake up and don’t know where I am or who you are... you have to promise me you’ll fight.”

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Buck.”

“Then don’t let me hurt you. Deal?”

Steve looked at him steadily, then nodded. “Good. So which bed are we trying?”

_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough_

_Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

_I never stopped, you're still written in the scars on my heart_

_You're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

Steve didn’t answer, so Bucky sighed. “Okay, well, I’m not movin’, so either you go back to your bed or find a way to fit in here with me.”

Steve couldn’t help the laugh. “Shove over, jerk,” he said. “How’re we doin’ this?”

“However feels right,” Bucky shrugged. “C’mon, lay down. Face away from me.”

Steve chuckled once more and did as he was told, looking over his shoulder once he was in position.

“I’m comin’,” Bucky chuckled.

_Oh tear ducts and rust_

_I'll fix it for us_

_We're collecting dust, but our love's enough_

“I hope this isn’t coming at too bad of a time,” Steve murmured, “but I never fell out of love with you.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, and shifted slightly closer. “Thing is, I don’t think I ever did, either.” Steve grinned, but held his tongue as Bucky continued. “But I know myself, Steve, and I’m not ready. Not yet.”

“That’s fine,” Steve answered. “It’s been a long time and we might as well be two different people now. I’ll wait as long as you want.”

“What if I wanna wait forever? You’ve gotta get tired sometime.”

“I’d rather it not take forever, but I meant what I said. I’ll wait as long as you want.”

_You're holding it in_

_You're pouring a drink_

_No nothing is as bad as it seems_

_We'll come clean_

“Hello,” Dr. Trinh said. She looked like a nice woman, rather short and unremarkable if it weren’t for the pixie cut she had dyed orange. “Mr. Barnes, correct? And Mr. Rogers. Please, come in.” She swept a hand towards the door, then stood by it as they walked in and sat. “I must warn you, I usually close the door due to the fact that if it’s open, people walking by can hear. Is that alright?”

“It’s fine,” Bucky said quietly with a small nod, and she smiled before softly shutting the door.

“Alright. Now, it says in my notes that you are my primary client, correct? May I assume Mr. Rogers is a friend?”

Bucky glanced at the blond, then nodded. He turned more fully towards Steve and spoke, this time in Russian. “ _Does she not know who we are_?”

“ _I don’t know_ ,” Steve shrugged. “ _I_ _guess it’s possible if she doesn’t look at the news_.”

She surprised them by speaking in the same language. “ _I do look at the news. I thought it might be nice for you to have a sense of anonymity_.” She chuckled when they looked at her with twin expressions of surprise, and switched back to English. “I spent three years in Russia a little bit ago, and it’s an interesting language. If you don’t want me to understand, I suggest something without a Slavic base, or something that isn’t a love language.” She tilted her head, considering, “Or French. That’s far enough from Spanish that I’d have to focus on understanding you.” She folded her hands in her lap and leaned forward slightly. “I’m a bit of a linguaphile; I love learning things about languages, and just new languages in general. Nothing to do with my job. Can’t say I expected you to know Russian, though,” she directed at Steve, who shrugged.

“I have an eidetic memory. It’s not so much that I learned it as it is I heard it and remembered it.”

“That’s cool,” Dr. Trinh nodded. “And you?” She addressed the brunet. “Do you have an eidetic memory too?”

Bucky surprised her by grinning. “I’m afraid my memory’s a bit more like Swiss cheese.”

She chuckled and nodded. “So how can I help you today?”

_Just give me a reason just a little bit's enough_

_Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

_It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts_

_That we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

“So that didn’t go horribly,” Steve remarked as they walked back inside. “What do you think?”

“Ugh,” Bucky groaned, and flopped face-first onto the couch. “Can we never leave the house again? Please?”

Steve just laughed at him. “Not sure we can manage that, pal.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Yep.” He walked into the kitchen, whistling, and Bucky groaned again.

“Steve,” he called. “Get back in here.”

“Yes, Your Highness?” He answered, and even without looking Bucky knew the sarcastic eyebrows he was making.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, and Steve snorted and turned around again. “No, no, wait,” he said, sitting up this time. “Seriously. I wanna talk about what went down today.”

“Okay,” Steve said easily. “Can I make a sandwich first? I’ve got the meats out.”

_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough_

_Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again_

_It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts_

_That we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again_

“So today was good,” Bucky admitted once they both had sandwiches in front of them. “But I’m still not sure how to feel about it.”

“Dr. Trinh did say it could take a couple days,” Steve reminded him. “She told us to be on the lookout for mood swings, but that’s mostly tomorrow. Today she said to let it happen.”

“She said that about every day,” Bucky retorted wryly, picking at the crust of his sandwich.

“Fair enough,” Steve chuckled. “But what do you think of her so far?”

Bucky thought about it, then nodded. “I like her. She’s direct.”

“She’s quite the character,” Steve agreed, nodding. “And what do you think about what we’re doing? Do you like me coming with you, or would you to try going by yourself?”

Bucky shrugged, “Maybe one day, but right now I’m okay with you coming with me. It makes me feel better knowing someone can keep me under control if they need to.” The corners of Steve’s lips turned down, but Bucky just shrugged. “You know I’m right, Steve. I’m not completely stable yet.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he returned, and took a big bite of his sandwich, effectively ending the conversation.

_Oh we can learn to love again_

_Oh we can learn to love again oh oh_

_Oh that we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again_

Bucky sat up, gasping, and Steve sat up next to him. “Bucky?”

“Gimme,” he shook his head. “A minute.” He swallowed, “please.”

“Whatever you need,” Steve promised, and Bucky rubber his hands over his face, trying to calm his breathing.

“Sorry,” he murmured, lifting his head after a long moment. “I hate waking you up.”

“Good thing I don’t mind being awakened by you, no matter the cause,” Steve replied with a soft smile, and held his arms out. “Can I hold you now?”

Bucky let out a weak chuckle and leaned sideways, slumping against the blond. “Always. Thanks for being here for me.”

“Always,” Steve parroted. “I love you.”

Bucky sighed and relaxed into Steve’s hold further. “I love you, too.”


End file.
